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TSA Humiliation – Time to Turn the Tables!

Let the Gropedown commence, TSA turd!

Image courtesy of sattva / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When a very reasonable mistress like myself has a pet peeve, good subs should take note and do their best to appease her. Well, my biggest travel pet peeve is the TSA security theater I must endure every time I fly, and I had a particularly vicious experience a couple of weeks ago on my way to Ms Reaghan‘s. I’m a little picky about who gets to have naked pictures of me and Uncle Sam does not make the list, so I always opt out of the naked scanner and take the full-body gropedown.

The Incident at EWR

Unfortunately, the agent handling rebels like me that morning had tried to sneak an extra-long coffee break and was beyond pissed that my opt-out drew attention to her tardiness. I never raised a ruckus, I didn’t even complain that I stood there for 10 full minutes waiting for my grope, but that didn’t count for a damn thing. She grabbed the middle of my bra and shook it, and then the part where she ran her hand up the inside of my leg until she “felt resistance”? Yeah…at full speed. If I had balls it would have hurt. Instead, I just ended up with an unmistakable case of cameltoe.

Deliver Me Some Sweet Revenge!

This is not my first TSA cameltoe, and I’m sure you all understand that I hate feeling powerless! So it’s time for a little payback…the kind that doesn’t get you in any legal trouble, and embarrasses them even more than it embarrasses you. Since most of you love a little kinky humiliation, this is a huge bonus for us both! Here’s a list of suggestions that you are more than welcome to add to in the comments below.

  • Scanner:  Wear a very thick merkin (go ahead, google it)
  • Scanner:  Write “UR A PERV” in thick black marker on your pale chest
  • Scanner:  Sprinkle glitter on your pubes
  • Gropedown:  Wear a butt plug with harness
  • Gropedown:  Twitch and giggle when they feel your armpits
  • Gropedown:  Moan barely loud enough for the groper to hear you
  • Both:  Keep your non-metalic chastity cage on that day
  • Both:  Think sexy thoughts until you get an erection – just in time for your turn
  • Both:  “Forget” to zip your fly. Bonus points for having girlie panties on!
  • Both:  Put a super-filthy porn mag inside your closed laptop

______________________________________________________

~~Miss Jane~~
JanesAddictive@gmail.com
Care to play on the phone? Check out my NiteFlirt phone sex listings
800-863-5478 ext 9644953

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Give Your PUMPkin A Happy HalloWEENIE

Pick out a jack-worthy Jack O'Lantern!With Halloween upon us, you’re probably wondering what to do with all the fresh pumpkins you have lying around. Well fear not, your Masturbation Mistress has a plan that will forever etch a new meaning for “Jack O’Lantern” in your mind!

1.  Carve a 1″ diameter hole in a small pumpkin.
2.  Scoop out some of the pulp with a small spoon or dull knife.
3.  Attempt to insert your penis.
4.  Remove penis and whittle away at the hole until it’s just big enough to accommodate your girth*.
5.  If your pumpkin fits in the microwave, warm it up a little.
6.  Insert your penis and PUMP!!

HOW IT WORKS:  The single tight hole creates a good near-vacuum seal and amazing suck action if you carved it right; and the warm, wet pulp inside should feel very welcoming on a cold autumn evening. You might be surprised how quickly your Halloweenie gets happy! Be sure to leave a comment describing how it compares to a real blow job 😉

* Members of the Tiny Penis Brigade can do this to a tangerine – why waste a whole pumpkin on your teenie halloweenie?

Image courtesy of digidreamgrafix / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Slick Nipple Play Instructions

If you’ve ever done a guided masturbation phone sex call with me or made it past the halfway point in my Masturbation Maze game, then you know I love playing with your pre-cum. Oh yes, that thick bead of slipperiness has so many uses, and you hardly know any of them. If you have […]

The 7 Deadly Sins of Phone Sex: Vanity

“I’m an alpha male – hot body, hot cock, I can get any woman I want. You should be the one paying ME for this call. By the time we’re done, you’re going to be desperate to meet up.”

Oh, just cue up the Carly Simon, folks…

Four out of five times, that line […]

10 Fun & Femdom Moments on My Trip Across Siberia

I’m back and rarin’ to get dirty on the phone again! I’ve actually been back for over a week, but my blog caught some weird Joker virus that proved to be a real challenge for my Tech Bitch. Anyway, I figured I’d celebrate my return with a recap of my Trans-Siberian adventure, since so many […]