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Sintellectual Sundays: Spring Forward!

I’m kicking off this edition with a PSA from your PSO: Daylight Savings is early this year – did you all remember to change your clocks? What a silly question, since everything but the microwave does it automatically now. Of course, it brings to mind a few other things with a habit of “springing forth” – care to add to the list?

  • NIPPLES in a stiff breeze…or under a warm tongue
  • A good SLAVE eager to serve
  • NOSES when caught lying to your mistress
  • Pretty painted TOES as they slide into saucy peeptoe pumps
  • A SISSY CLIT in front of the Victoria’s Secret display window
  • GOOSEBUMPS at the sound of your phone mistress’s wicked laugh
  • A bead of PRE-CUM as you reach your first edge during a guided masturbation session
  • GIFT CARDS whenever I want them

Kink In The News                           

Dirty, Flirty & Jailbirdy!

Dirty, Flirty & Jailbirdy!

This one has been all over the national news this week: a female prison guard is in trouble for having (phone) sex with a male inmate. Why did I put phone in parentheses like that? Because the news networks keep trying to make it sound as if she was boinking the bad boy in his bunk. The guard has been accused of nothing more than “dereliction of duty”, isn’t famous, and didn’t get naked …so why is this national news, or even considered news at all? Hmm… Could it be because men can’t get enough of us dirty-talking hotties?? (Oh yes, she’s cute alright). You’d think the networks would have enough recorded phone sex, BDSM Q&A sessions and eye candy to entertain their viewers with the extremely meticulous live testimony from the Arias murder trial. But we all know that television producers and penises have no shame.

Week on your Knees                       

While in South Africa in November, I picked up a new dietary habit: Pink Himalayan Salt. Its unusually rich mineral content grabbed my attention, since I seem to cramp up frequently after a good workout. How does it taste? No different from regular salt, though I think a bit stronger – or maybe it’s just hard for me to judge quantity from the large awkward grinder it came in.

So that is your assignment this week – to start using my favorite salt instead of your boring iodized white stuff to be more like me. Bonus: it’s PINK, and you know we mistresses get a kick out of making Alpha Pretenders like you pinkify your life!

Twittervert in the Twitterverse                     

 

SexyTweet6


No Funny No Honey                                 

In honor of what I hope are the dying days of a weather-ful winter…

Q: Which is easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman?
A:  A snowWOMAN, of course. Because with a snowMAN, you have to hollow out the head and pack the extra snow into balls to make testicles.

Testes-MOAN-ial                                       

From Dahlman, whose inadequate penis has driven him to collect a ‘harem’ of Blow-up Bimbos to service his mini-manhood: 

“She left me in almost dreamlike state after this call. i’m reminded of an 80’s song with the lyric “Oh so many ways to be wicked”, and Ms. Jane knows them all. An hour on the phone with Jane is an exercise in the most wonderful humiliation imaginable.”

Hot Damn-Azon!                                    

There's no "Maybe" about touching your genitals. You're a man. You did.

There’s no “Maybe” about touching your genitals. You’re a man. You did.

Finally, a hand sanitizer that makes it glaringly obviously why this product is even needed! A few of my favorite things about these items:

* Heart Penis packaging states: “Leaves hands feeling soft and relieved!”

* Genital Touching description:  “The #1 After Genital Contact hand sanitizer!”

* The Most Helpful Review on Amazon: “We were extremely pleased with the effectiveness with which this product removed ball smell and general funk from our hands. My partner however experienced severe burning sensation in the mouth and throat, left eye and a possibly unrelated rash so the burning was probably karma related. But I would still advise anyone using this product to only use on your hands!”

 

Sintellinks                                      

Give my favorite phone sex friends a little comment love:

How awesome is Mistress Fernanda’s artsy little friend for drawing a kinky comic depicting her, me, and a strutting sissy? Check out Mistress Mansion: Every Subbie Boy’s Dream.

When it comes to anal training for submissives, lesbian domme Ms Reaghan doesn’t just reach for any old strap-on… Size Matters: Sometimes Smaller Is Better.

Princess Ashleigh is feeling a bit more herself after the plague-flu and put up something new for us all, especially the pantyboys amongst you in Butch Biker Boy Double-Take…Was that a flash of PINK?

Flirty Dirty & Wordy                                                    

 

WWF-GetGayEye

I see that cluster in the bottom left corner as a description of a man getting a facial:

GET  –  GAY  –  EYE  –  EW !!!!

 

If you want to play Words With Friends with me, I’m Jane Elphinstone
–  Just remember to let me know who you are when you hit me up! –

______________________________________________________

~~Miss Jane~~
JanesAddictive@gmail.com
Care to play on the phone? Check out my NiteFlirt phone sex listings
800-863-5478 ext 9644953

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Jailbird image courtesy of Sakhorn38 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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