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Give Your PUMPkin A Happy HalloWEENIE

With Halloween upon us, you’re probably wondering what to do with all the fresh pumpkins you have lying around. Well fear not, your Masturbation Mistress has a plan that will forever etch a new meaning for “Jack O’Lantern” in your mind!

1. Carve a 1″ diameter hole in a small pumpkin. 2. Scoop out some […]

The 7 Deadly Sins of Phone Sex: Vanity

“I’m an alpha male – hot body, hot cock, I can get any woman I want. You should be the one paying ME for this call. By the time we’re done, you’re going to be desperate to meet up.”

Oh, just cue up the Carly Simon, folks…

Four out of five times, that line […]

10 Fun & Femdom Moments on My Trip Across Siberia

I’m back and rarin’ to get dirty on the phone again! I’ve actually been back for over a week, but my blog caught some weird Joker virus that proved to be a real challenge for my Tech Bitch. Anyway, I figured I’d celebrate my return with a recap of my Trans-Siberian adventure, since so many […]

Sintellectual Sundays: Teenie Weenie Edition

Guess what special day is lined up for this week, which has been an official holiday for about 30 years now…. I Am In Control Day! It’s “celebrated” on March 30 by the rest of the country, but as you can imagine, it’s just a daily phenomenon in My world! I control cocks, I control […]

The 7 Deadly Sins of Phone Sex: Gluttony

In this very spiritual time of the year, it tickles me to focus on how your sins affect moi – because they do, in ways your penis you probably haven’t considered. I mean, look at gluttony…how could that possibly have anything to do with phone sex, right?

Only YOU can prevent Small Penis Syndrome […]