So far this has been one helluva trip over here on The Dark Continent, and I must admit that until now the dust and sweat have killed my sexy. However… I’m now planted in one place for the next 10 days or so, and I can already feel that changing. Who’s up for a little phone fun when I’m not out being a tourist? You’ll see me here during some WEIRD hours – I’m 8 time zones *ahead* of EST. See my phone sex schedule page for my best guess at when you’ll find me available.
Top 10 things I’ve learned about Africa
- There’s nothing like hearing-smelling-watching the rains sweep across the Serengeti. That 80s song by Toto doesn’t do it justice.
- Houses, roads, etc. here make me feel like I’m 7500 years away, not 7500 miles.
- Men are more interested in my a$$ets than my ass.
- Electricity is less dependable than internet access (wtf?).
- Kilimanjaro brings athletic men to their knees after 3 days and $500 worth of climbing. I accomplish this in 3 minutes. Hm, methinks I’m not charging enough…
- Yes, I’ve clamped my thighs around a black man’s hips this trip many times and paid him 65 cents for the privilege. It’s called a motorcycle taxi. I’d never been on a motorcycle before, unlike my mistress friend Ashleigh.
- Apparently my homeland has been renamed “Obama’s Country” by the East Africans.
- The Masaai drape, worn similarly to a toga, is like the Scottish kilt – no one really knows what’s underneath.
- The world’s finest arabica beans are grown on the slopes around Kilimanjaro – but they export nearly every damn bean and drink instant. INSTANT. The horror!
- Nothing says “Africa” like watching 20 chickens under a bus seat nest on your $160 backpack and leave it encrusted with…yeah, you can finish that sentence without my help.
Welcome your adventurous phone mistress back!
If you’d like to treat me to a little something nice or something ‘boringly’ practical upon her return, I recommend a decent cup of coffee or the top few things that mention Africa on my Amazon wishlist (guess who needs to replace every single pair of her cute cotton panties!).
2 Comments
Sounds like you need some white meat, enjoy the rest if your trip
I dunno….the legs of those chickens that squatted on my pack were pretty tasty. That is what you meant by ‘white meat’, isn’t it? =)